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Search Results 0 to 12 of about 13 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Oct 2, 2012 7:00pm PDT
without bankrupting the government is just way too advanced for us regular folks to understand. it's unfathommably complex like string theory. you would have to grasp that the universe is actually 11 coexisted dimensions. eight of which are where romney shelters his wealth. (laughter) just trust him, just trust him. (applause) the middle class is broken down by the side of the road and paul ryan is driving up in a black windowless van and saying get in. (laughter) don't ask where we are we going. it would take him too long to explain. (laughter) just get in. and it puts the lotion on its body. (applause) now folks, either we go with the romney-ryan plan or it's four more years of barack obama. so even obama did get some good economic news. >> these job numbers show that the president has recovered every single job lost on his watch and then some. that makes the president a net job creator. >> stephen: there it is. obama is a net job creator. so congratulations to robert baird, the guy who got the job. (laughter) but millions of americans are still looking for work. particularly low s
Comedy Central
Oct 3, 2012 7:00pm PDT
religion. no governmental intrusion into the pulpit. >> i don't need the government protecting me from speech, i am a mature free-thinking american capable of making my own rational decisions about which candidate my priest said got wants know pick. (laughter) and, folks, it should not stop there, i want my religious leaders to weigh in on everything. judicial races, school board elections, bond issues, the ballot initiative creating a dedicated traffic signal in the left turn lane in front of the arby's because lo having to go all the way down to maple, make a right and then take that round about just to get back to the drive through doth make the angels weep. i mean, can i get an amen? (audience reacts) here to give me another amen-- maybe as good as that one-- is one of the bold leaders of pulpit freedom sunday, a man with the parables and the pair of balls. pastor jim garlow. pastor jim, thanks so much for coming. (cheers and applause) how many years have been doing this? >> this is the fifth year. >> stephen: so you guys have been basically trying to poke the hornet's nest of the
Comedy Central
Oct 3, 2012 11:30pm PDT
he's governing this way at all. i think that's why... i think that was going to becaptioning y comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh >> tonight, mitt romney still trails in the polls! could bit because they contain other choices? then a breakthrough in men's vitality. >> what vagina substitutes we will be throwing footballs through next and my guest is country music legend kenny rogers, i will ask him if those islands in the stream make good tax shelters. and pornographers were caught filming in the cornell university library. clearly, they could not get into the hear extraordinary library. this is the colbert report. captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) >> colbert: welcome. that is incredible. ladies and gentlemen, thank you. good to have you with us. boy, i can feel the electricity. i can feel the electricity. ladies and gentlemen, in here, out there, across america, you know why people are excited because it is a huge night. the first presidential debate just happened in
Comedy Central
Oct 8, 2012 11:30pm PDT
unemployed moochers. the president's natural allies, suddenly yank the government teat out of their mouths, get off the couch for 40 hours a week, why? i say follow the money because i found out that right around the time those people got those jobs, they started getting paid. (laughter) and just where does that money come from? right out of the pockets of the job create evers. how's that for your socialist redistribution of wealth. folks, it's called class warfare, and the president loves it. it's all laid out in a new recent new yorker article. now i try hard not to read "the new yorker", because i never win their cartoon caption contest. that couple sleeping in the graveyard, thanks a lot, gay marriage. never. the last week i made an exception because "the new yorker" had a great piece of a new vilified underclass. the rich. and the signs of this oppression are everywhere, folks. for instance, in the post crass stock market recovery the top 1% of earners only got 93% of the gains. what happened to that other 7%, mr. president? did it go for birth control for the muslim brotherhoo
Search Results 0 to 12 of about 13 (some duplicates have been removed)